23 Years of Abstinence

With no regrets
23 Years of Abstinence

I was 39 years old when I finally walked down the aisle to marry my husband, Tim. I'd abstained from premarital sex through 23 years in the dating world. Was it easy to wait? Hardly. Was it worth it? Absolutely.

When I was 16, friends invited me to a Campus Life Bible study. I'd been raised in the church, but God always seemed far away. Mom had died when I was 11, and I longed for someone who wouldn't go away. Daring to believe that God could be my lifelong companion, I committed my life to him. I began reading the Bible, and verses such as 1 Corinthians 6:18-20—which tell us to flee from sexual immorality and encourage us to honor God with our body—made me ashamed of my past sexual experiences. I decided to accept God's forgiveness and to remain abstinent from then on.

The Bible's poetic portrayal of a virgin bride wooed my heart with a longing for purity and innocence: "I betrothed you to one husband, that to Christ I might present you as a pure virgin" (2 Corinthians 11:2, NASB). I wanted to be virtuous and untaken, to experience the preciousness of waiting and of finally being presented to my husband. But being a passionate person in a sex-saturated society, how on earth was I ever going to be able to live up to my decision?

Wise Words

Thankfully, wise friends and mentors offered me great advice to help me resist temptation. I took to heart the words of my Campus Life youth leader who said I shouldn't go out with someone whom I wouldn't potentially marry. So early on I decided not to date men who didn't share my faith in Jesus.

Member access onlyYou have reached the end of this Article Preview
To continue reading, join now for free and get complete access.
orJoin Now for Free

Read more articles that highlight writing by Christian women at ChristianityToday.com/Women

Free CT Women Newsletter

Sign Up For Our weekly Newsletter CT's weekly newsletter highlighting the voices of women writers. We report on news and give our opinion on topics such as church, family, sexuality, discipleship, pop culture, and more!

Read These Next

  • What to Say about MasturbationMember Access Only
    Like it or not, if your child has reached middle school it won'’t be long before you'’ll be faced with the uncomfortable subject of masturbation.
  • You Are Worth Fighting ForMember Access Only
    For when you feel too fat, too frumpy, too stupid, or too poor


Join in the conversation on Facebook or Twitter

Follow Us

More Newsletters