With five million albums sold, 19 number one singles, and four Grammy nominations, the Newsboys are one of today's hottest bands. But four years ago, songwriter and frontman Peter Furler discovered that though his career was a success, his marriage was in trouble. We asked Peter and his wife of 14 years, Summer, to share their struggle and what it taught them.
What's been the most difficult time in your marriage?
Summer: About four years ago I began to think I'd married the wrong person. Peter was on the road all the time, and I was really lonely. I missed him and felt disconnected from him. I wanted to be part of what he was doing.
Peter: I was putting my work first, thinking, Summer doesn't understand, this is supporting her and putting food on the table. But she didn't need food, she needed a husband. She needed me to love and cherish her. She needed to be involved in every part of my life. Calling her four times a day wasn't enough. I had to be home more for her.
How did that time change your view of marriage?
Peter: I realized my marriage is more important than work and my ministry. Because marriage is ministry. A man is meant to worship God and put him first, and also to love his wife as his own body. Everything after that is secondary. I'm not worried about the next gig anymore; it's not my biggest priority.
Summer: Whether we're together or apart, we make it a priority to nourish our marriage by setting aside time just to be together and talk.
What draws you closer?
Summer: We make the most of our time together. We have lunch dates. Peter goes with me to the mall, and I go with him to look at cars or guitars. We share in each other's interests.
Peter: We pray together. Although some mornings we don't really feel like it, those are the times when we know we need it the most. In the morning we ask God to guide us, to bless our marriage and help it glorify him. Then before we go to bed, we pray again. I'm really scared not to do it now, because we've seen we can't afford not to.
How do you define true success?
Peter: That I'm still married. That there's a process of restoration in my life. That's success.
Summer: Walking daily with God—bringing glory to him through my life. Having a peace that passes understanding and joy unspeakable. Being more in love with my husband after 14 years than I was after 10.
Copyright © 2005 by the author or Christianity Today/Marriage Partnership magazine. Click here for reprint information on Marriage Partnership.
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