After gaining a fan base performing at summer camps with Young Life ministries, contemporary Christian artist Bebo Norman went on to write and perform such hits as "Great Light of the World" and "Falling Down," garnering multiple Dove Award nominations. These days Bebo and Roshare, his wife of three years, are taking on a new challenge—their son, Smith. MP talked to Bebo and Roshare about their marriage, their transition into parenthood, and their faith.
What attracted you to each other?
Bebo: I love people who speak their mind, and Roshare would speak up—loudly. Being with her was never a guessing game like it had been with other girls. I was always concerned with, Oh my gosh, people have to like me. I can't say anything wrong. But Roshare genuinely said what she thought. She's taught me there's a big difference between pleasing people and serving people. I want the latter.
Roshare: For the first time in a dating relationship, I felt it was okay to have a strong opinion and share what I felt. Bebo didn't challenge my ideas. He'd just say, "But what do you think about this? Let's look at all of this." And sometimes that led me in a different direction that I wouldn't have considered.
How has parenthood changed your relationship?
Roshare: It brought out things in Bebo I hadn't seen and gave me a greater appreciation for him. He'd never changed a diaper, but that first night in the hospital he jumped right in and did it—no "I don't know what I'm doing" or "Help me." He acted like he'd done it a million times.
Bebo: Two weeks before Smith was born, we were sitting on the couch after a really good evening together. Roshare teared up and said, "I'm so ready to have this baby. But I'm also sad right now because this is the end of just you and me pretty much forever." Despite our excitement we mourned the end of a season.
What impact has your faith had on your marriage?
Roshare: I've seen other relationships that were all about "I'm not getting this. You're not doing this for me. You're not getting that from me." Marriage doesn't work that way.
Bebo: The general worldview is that we need to find something in life that makes us happy, that fulfills us, pleases us. But when you boil down everything in terms of what Jesus taught, it comes down to selflessness. My goal is to serve my wife. Not to get anything back, but because I'm supposed to. Period. I can't think of any recipe that works better for marriage than that.
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