My Husband Isn't Honest

Also: Attracted to Another Man and Unequal Family Time

Q. My husband fibs. It's mostly over stupid little things such as leaving the cap off the milk. He's a good man and I know he wouldn't do anything to hurt me or lie about something major. But these little lies drive me crazy and I'm having trouble believing him with things. His mother told me he used to do the same thing as a child; even when she caught him doing something, he'd still deny it. I've tried to discuss this with him and while it seems to help for a while, eventually he reverts to his old behavior. What should I do?

A. Honesty is the cornerstone of character and integrity. One of the most important foundation stones for any relationship is trust. In Luke 16:10, Jesus tells us that the person who's faithful in little is also faithful in much. And "whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much." So if a person can't be trusted in little things, he can't be trusted in big things. And your love and commitment can't grow when you're frequently doubting the truth of what your husband tells you.

In Colossians 3:9, the apostle Paul tells us not to lie to each other. When I modify the truth, fib, or present limited aspects of the truth and it leaves someone with an incorrect understanding of what really happened, I've lied. Even when I don't blatantly tell someone the opposite of what's true but I "only" leave out selected parts of what really happened, I've lied. Any time I deliberately mislead someone, even if I can rationalize it by saying, "It's nothing important," I've lied.

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May 25

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