Why are stairs harder to climb after we fight? I asked myself, dragging one foot after the other, using the banister to pull myself up.
Hurtful words, spoken by my husband in anger, rotated in my mind. Was I really not humble? Was I only out for myself? Was I truly trying to "diss" him?
Reaching the top, I hesitated before entering the bedroom. Was he asleep, or waiting? Time to find out as I anxiously turned the handle.
Trying not to sigh too long or loud, I was relieved to hear his gentle snores. A simple change of clothing in the dark and I was ready to climb into bed, but our argument kept playing over and over like some bad copy of a B movie, making sleep impossible.
The nagging question, which rarely left my mind during these days of arguing, came once again. Should I leave him? Temptation was strong as I considered my options.
Finding myself praying instead of sleeping, I pleaded silently, God, what's happening to us? I don't know how much more of this fighting I can take.
A gentle suggestion came into my mind: Love never fails.
Those three words brought back memories of years before, standing at the wedding altar, saying those same words to this man. I read 1 Corinthians 13 to him after my vows. Verse 8 started with "Love never fails" (1 Corinthians 13: 8, NIV). At the time my friends asked me why I wanted to read what everyone else read at their wedding. Why couldn't I be different? they questioned.
No eloquent answers came then, but now I understood. God knew I'd need those words written on my heart to remember tonight as I struggled with the "for worse" part of marriage.1