My husband and I love to get out together and away from our busy schedules. Sometimes it needs to be just the two of us, when we have something important to talk about. But if we don't have that kind of item to discuss, our conversation often whittles down to chewing in each other's company. And although there can be something companionable in that, we both realize that night after night of just chewing can produce an almost coma-like state. So what's our solution? Add more people to talk to!
We've found that if we invite another couple along to our dinner out, or even better, to our home, we have a lot more fun and we find out more about ourselves than if we were just alone. Conversation becomes richer and more varied, laughter becomes heartier, and our connection grows stronger because we sense the unit we are as we interact with others.
As we've included others in our plans, we've realized how rarely most people do this. Most of us live isolated lives that revolve around work, kids, and our own concerns. After a while, that becomes something of a treadmill that begins to wear on a couple. The sparks of earlier conversations and getting to know each other are gone, and the "sameness" of daily routine becomes numbing. But if you invite another couple in, the sparks again begin to fly (and in a good way).
I'm often surprised by how much I appreciate my husband as we interact with another couple. I'm surprised at his wisdom when he shares things he's learning—things we probably wouldn't have discussed if we were alone. Sometimes his sense of humor catches me unaware. When it's just the two of us, I forget how witty he can be. Those things make me feel glad I'm married to him in ways I don't realize when we are only in each other's company day after day.1