I'm sure I'm not the only one who never talked about sex growing up. As a conservative Christian with loving parents, talkative friends, and a healthy church family, you'd think conversations about godly sexuality would have come up—but they didn't. My parents never sat me down to talk about "the birds and the bees."
Turns out my experience wasn't unique. According to a Harvard study on sex education, approximately one in four girls were never approached by their parents about resisting pressure for sex, and 40 percent of those parents didn't even get around to talking to their kids about safe-sex practices until after their kids were already sexually active.
My youth group would sometimes talk about modesty issues and dating relationships, but we never explicitly talked about what it means to have a godly perspective of sexuality as a single girl with raging hormones. And my friends, albeit conservative Christians, almost never broached the topic of sex either.
Now that I'm married, I'm finding that people in Christian circles still don't talk about sex. Maybe they're embarrassed—though why should they be? I completely understand and agree there are certain practices and experiences with your husband that must stay confidential. But it would have been helpful to learn early on how sex chemically binds two human beings to each other—and how that connection and intimacy is just a small picture of the intimacy and relationship that exists between the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. It would have been helpful if, whenever sex was vaguely alluded to, it wasn't talked about negatively. We, as the church, need to start talking more about sex.
Pop culture's message is that we should just "do what feels good." But God's plan for sex is more complex than that. It involves our body, mind, emotions, and our relationship with him. We need to talk about the fact that if we want to improve our sex life, we need to have the right mentality about sex, and view it as an act of worship—which includes enjoying sex as play.
Today's Christian Woman has recognized this need for fostering healthy discussion on sex and sexuality, so we've put together a compilation of resources to cultivate a godly perspective of our sexuality. "Your Guide to Sexual Satisfaction" answers some of the biggest questions we have regarding sex:
- How can I be sexually satisfied with my husband?
- How can I stay deeply in love with my husband?
- How do I keep sex fun after being married for so long?
- How can I increase my arousal and response to my husband?
- Why is sex more than a physical expression of love?
- How does a healthy and satisfying sexual relationship in my marriage honor God?
These questions—and more!—are answered in our TCW's resource, "Your Guide to Sexual Satisfaction." Go get yours—let's start talking about sex.
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Natalie Lederhouse is the editorial coordinator for Today's Christian Woman. Follow her on Twitter @nataIiejean.