Growing up in the church, I've heard countless sermons on that wonderful role-model—the Proverbs 31 woman. She made warm clothes for her children, was kind to her servants, and was even a business woman. No doubt, she was an excellent wife, mother, and member of the community.
But now I've became aware of another biblical role model for women—the bride in the Song of Solomon. Sure, I had read this little book before, but I had never really studied it. Frankly, I just didn't get it with all the jumping deer and poetry about gardens and fruit. Then my good friend, Linda Dillow, urged me to study it and write what I learned from the young bride about being a lover to my husband, Mike.
Boy, was I in for a surprise. This woman who lived thousands of years ago was quite a lover. She wasn't the "I'll do my wifely duty" type. She went after sexual passion in her marriage using her body, thought life, words, and creativity to get her husband's full attention. Like the Proverbs 31 woman, she isn't given a name, so I gave her one: She is one "Smokin' Hot Mama!"
So why isn't the Smokin' Hot Mama extolled as a powerful role model for married women—right up there with the Proverbs 31 superhero? Why is buying and selling a field praised, while the passionate pursuit of love is ignored?
If my husband, Mike, were to have his choice between a P31 woman and a Smokin' Hot Mama, I know which he would choose! I think a lot of husbands would be all for their wives learning a thing or two from Solomon's bride.
I've talked to many women who feel as if their sex drive is somehow wrong. They are embarrassed and ashamed to initiate sex with their husbands. Christian thinking usually assumes that married sexuality should revolve around the husband's need. The Smokin' Hot Mama tells a different story. God created women with sexual passion too. Because women are complicated emotionally and physically, enjoying sexual pleasure may be a bit like figuring out a Rubik's cube. Both a woman and her husband may have to work at unlocking her desire.
The truth is that most Christian women are quite confused about the whole topic of sexuality in marriage. Is it a good thing or not? It somehow just seems wrong, particularly looking at how the world exploits sexuality. Does God really want us to pursue passion?
I believe the answer is "yes." Satan has so distorted sexuality that it's easy to forget that it is God's creation—his beautiful design to indescribably bond a husband and wife. If this is news to you, it may be time to put aside your study of Proverbs 31 to become a student of another great biblical role model—the bride of Solomon.