Waiting on God

He alone can grant perfect timing to the events of our lives

"Mom, don't you think it's time to quit? You've been working for two years to get these books and videos published. It's okay to let go and move on."

I laid my head on the desk, crying quietly.

"I wish I could, Noel. But there's a relentless nudging in my soul that tells me I can't quit.

"I believe this nudging is from Jesus."

"But don't you think Jesus sees how hard you have tried to complete this project?"

Praying silently, I implored the Lord: "I've tried hard, really hard, Lord! But I'm tired of waiting. Do you want this single-parent curriculum to be published or is it just my ambition?"

I felt like a nagging young child, pestering her parent with the same request over and over. I wanted to do God's will, but I was exhausted. And deep inside I wanted to quit. I progressed from pestering the Lord to a full-blown temper tantrum. Yet his grace provided me a spacious place at his throne where I could be real.

Several months later, on a blustery fall Sunday morning, I arrived late for church. Everyone was standing to sing "I Have Come to Praise the Lord," but I barely could sing. I was about to lose it when I heard the still small voice say, "Come away with me, Barbara."

I left the sanctuary and drove to my favorite park, where I walked to "my" bench and opened my Bible. The wind flipped the pages, but when it stopped, I looked down and saw Isaiah 66:9: "'Do I bring to the moment of birth and not give delivery?' says the Lord." My tears began to flow. God understood that the work I had done on my curriculum for single parents was like carrying a baby to term and then not being able to give birth. I realized at that moment that somehow the Lord was going to bring it to delivery. Still, the waiting was not easy.

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May 25

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