"Recording Ourselves?"

Also: "His daughter's killing our intimacy", "He looks at other women"

Our sex life has gotten stale. What do you think of my wife and me recording ourselves having sex, so we can watch later as part of our foreplay?

Michael: While there may not be anything intrinsically wrong with your idea, there are potential dangers. What if your child were accidentally to discover the video? Also, you'll eventually be satiated by the recording. The next step would be watching videos of someone else having sex as part of foreplay. This is clearly wrong as you're inviting someone else into your marriage bed.

I could list a half-dozen other potential dangers, but there's a more important issue. The apostle Paul warns us, "There's more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact" (1 Corinthians 6:16, The Message). You're working to enhance the physical part of lovemaking with your technique. Are you also attending to the spiritual part?

What about trying techniques that help you have more powerful emotional and sensual intimacy? Take long walks together filled with talk of your dreams as a couple, give each other a bath with sensual soap, join in relational prayer together. These techniques enrich the heart of sexuality. If sex is just about the buzz, it will definitely get stale. Enrich the heart, and the passion can grow.

DebraYou don't mention whether you and your wife have talked about your sex life being "stale." What is it that feels "stale" to you? To her? Often couples may feel this, but don't bring it up for fear of hurting, offending, or arguing with their partner. Great lovemaking at some point(s) requires good talking.

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May 25

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