Are you married to your "soul mate"?
Katie didn't think she was. The day she walked into my counseling office she believed that little fact was her ticket out of a passionless marriage. All she really wanted from me was confirmation that Scott was not her soul mate. Since God wanted her to "be happy" in marriage, she wanted me to bless the idea that her happiness would be found when she was freed from her current spouse to find her one, true soul mate.
"I don't love Scott," she told me.
"Well, what about your three children?" I asked.
"The kids will be fine," she said confidently.
I had my work cut out for me. How could I help her see that she already had a soul mate? She just needed to redefine her understanding of what a "soul mate" is.
There's a lot of discussion about soul mates these days. It's splashed across romance novels, the main story line in movies, and all the rage among celebrities—even some Christian ones.
For many, the idea of having and being a soul mate conjures notions of God bringing together two lost hearts who experience the end to their loneliness and realize complete compatibility in all the deepest longings of their being. They experience conflict-free conversations, sometimes even without talking, discover reams and reams of shared interests, hobbies, and passions, and finally (of course), spend days upon days of heart-stopping, hand-clinching romantic walks on the beach. No hardships, no struggles, just starry-eyed wonder—for the next 80 years together!1