Sexual Boundaries for Singles

3 questions to help discern God’s opinion

When women ask their honest questions about sexuality, the most common ones typically relate to whether certain things are right or wrong for Christian women to engage in. They want to know where the boundaries are. Here are a few examples:

Is masturbation wrong?

Am I still a virgin if I’ve had oral sex?

Is it wrong to read erotic novels like Fifty Shades of Grey?

How far is too far to go in a dating relationship?

There are plenty of opinions available on each of these questions. Ask five people you know, and you will probably hear five drastically different answers. And let’s be honest . . . we usually embrace the answer that most represents what we wanted to hear.

My opinion on these questions doesn’t matter, nor does your best friend’s. God is the one who created you as a sexual being. If you truly want your sexuality to be an expression of your love for Christ, the only opinion that matters is his.

As you navigate the practical implications of your sexual choices, you can ask yourself three important questions to help discern God’s opinion on any question you might have. Are you ready?

Question #1 – What Does the Bible Say?

“I am a stranger on earth. Do not hide your commands from me. I wear myself out with desire for your law all the time” (Psalm 119:19–20, NCV).

If you are a child of God, you are a stranger on this earth. You will not (and should not) make decisions like the world does. The author of Psalm 119 understood this, and he was desperate for God’s instruction. God’s Word became his delight because it gave him the practical answers for how to live life as a child of God on earth.

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Juli Slattery

Juli Slattery is a TCW regular contributor and blogger. A widely known clinical psychologist, author, speaker, and broadcast media professional, she co-founded Authentic Intimacy and is the co-author of Passion Pursuit: What Kind of Love Are You Making?

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