I am convinced that many problems in marriage could be avoided by adding one simple ingredient—proper rest. And what better place to experience the rest so desperately needed than in your own bedroom?
Ask yourself this: When you step into your bedroom and close the door behind you, is what lies before you dreamy or frightening? The atmosphere you create in your bedroom can greatly affect your marriage relationship. As you make your bedroom appeal to the five senses, you and your spouse will be drawn there. And the more you are drawn there, the more you will bring balance into your life and marriage.
Beauty to Behold
Most rooms in your home can and should be multi-purpose. The master bedroom, however, is not one of them. Your bedroom's sole purpose should be for rest and romance. No matter how limited the space in your home, make your bedroom a peaceful refuge.
If possible, decorate your bedroom before focusing on the rest of the house. It will provide a pleasant place to escape and bring patience to your partnership as you tackle other decorating tasks in your home.
Choose colors that are soothing and satisfying to you and your spouse. Blue is peaceful. Yellow is cheerful. Red is passionate. Green is fresh. Beige is natural. The fewer colors used, the more soothing your bedroom will be.
Clear your mind by clearing the clutter. Remove anything from your bedroom that does not lend to a peaceful atmosphere.
Save your pennies and buy a beautiful bed. Place it at center stage in your room.
Have a few pieces of attractive, comfortable nightwear.
Pleasant scents can put even the most weary bodies and souls into a wonderful state of mind. Skim through Song of Songs and you'll see pleasant fragrances played a potent part in satisfying those love birds. Try it for yourself.
Turn down your bed sheets and sprinkle them with fragrant talc or spritz with linen spray.
Slip a fragrant sachet into your dresser drawer for sweet-smelling nightwear.
Place a single stem of a fragrant flower in a simple bud vase beside your bed.
Insert a scented oil plug-in into an electrical outlet and fill your bedroom with a pleasing fragrance.
Spritz a light spray of perfume or cologne on before crawling into bed.
The Lap of Luxury
If you've ever stayed in a hotel and ordered room service, you know the pleasure this little luxury can bring. Dining in your bedroom can make even the simplest of food and beverage taste delightful and your marriage feel pampered.
If space allows, have a small skirted or flip-top table and two chairs or a loveseat for occasional dining.
Use two wicker trays for lap-top dining. Simply serve soup and salad or bread, fruit, and cheese.
Crawl into bed and relax with a hot cup of chamomile tea.
Satisfy your sweet tooth and surprise your spouse by placing a little chocolate treat on each of your pillows (just like the finest hotels).
Microwave store-bought cookies for thirty seconds and serve with two glasses of ice-cold milk—a sure way to your loved one's heart.
Every day you are bombarded with sounds. Most bring stress to your life. Make your bedroom a peaceful oasis of soothing sounds to help you turn off the outside world, relax, and unwind.
Turn off the television (or better yet, avoid having one in your bedroom altogether).
Don't answer the phone after 9:00 p.m.
Put on a peaceful, romantic CD.
Pray out loud together at the end of the day.
Open the windows and drift to sleep listening to God's lullaby of nature: the crickets chirping, breeze blowing, or rain falling.
There's nothing like a good night's sleep in your own bed to get the rest you need. Consider the most comfortable touches that will make your bed irresistible. Feather your bed with the things that feel good to you and your spouse.
Purchase an excellent quality mattress and box spring. Buy a set that suits both of your comfort preferences. Flip it several times a year for even wear.
Select sheets that are pleasing to your touch: cool cotton in the summer, cozy flannel in the winter, or silky satin for a little luxury.
Top your sheets with a warm down comforter, a light quilt, or a cotton blanket.
Have bed pillows that appeal to each of you.
For a guaranteed good night's sleep, treat each other to a backrub.
I have to confess, I'm not too good with keeping New Year resolutions. But this past New Year, I did make one life-changing resolution that stuck. After reflecting on the areas of my life and our marriage that were out of balance, I realized the solution to most of the issues was simple—get a good night's sleep. So now, I head to the bedroom by 9:00 p.m., take a hot bath, and am in bed by 9:30 to read and wind down for the day. I am a new woman. And my husband? Well, let's just say most nights he's not too far behind me when I head to bed.
Tomorrow, take a good look at your bedroom to see how enticing it is. But tonight, just try turning out the lights a little earlier. Sweet dreams.
Terry Willits, interior designer and author of Simply SenseSational Decorating and Creating a SenseSational Home (both Zondervan), confesses her favorite place on earth is nestled beside her husband of fifteen years, Bill, in their bedroom in Alpharetta, Georgia.
Copyright © 2001 by the author or Christianity Today/Marriage Partnership magazine. Click here for reprint information on Marriage Partnership.