The Danger of "Deserve"

What happens when we live like we're entitled.

I'd fallen into the trap of uttering the most dangerous word in the world: deserve. I convinced myself that, in honor of my daughter's birth, I deserved to create a beautiful nursery for her. Furthermore, my daughter deserved to have a beautiful nursery. The child wasn't even born yet, and I was setting her up to believe in what she deserved!

Deserve is dangerous because it rots away our insides and makes us hard to live with. It motivates us to lie, cheat, and steal to get what we want. It turns our hearts inward and urges us in the wrong direction—far from where God wants us to be.

Where Danger Starts

I've heard it said that comparison is the death of contentment. You might be fine and dandy, enjoying your life and appreciating your blessings until your friend gets something better, nicer, or bigger than you. Suddenly you look at your life and it doesn't measure up. What was fine before now seems lacking.

This is a reason I rarely go shopping. Going to a mall exposes me to wants I didn't know I had. It's like an alcoholic going into a bar—the temptation is best avoided altogether. I shop now only when I have specific needs and money in hand. I no longer carry credit cards so I'm not tempted to use them.

But I also understand avoiding malls isn't a cure-all for comparison. The root of this problem goes much deeper than shopping. It goes to the heart of what we believe about ourselves and how we perceive that others see us. For many of us, comparison is a lifelong habit grounded in inferiority and based on a need for approval. This constant comparing leads to feelings of self-doubt and a diminished identity. The urge to compensate for these inadequate feelings drives us to do whatever it takes to raise our status in the eyes of others.

Member access onlyYou have reached the end of this Article Preview
To continue reading, join now for free and get complete access.
orJoin Now for Free

Read more articles that highlight writing by Christian women at

Free CT Women Newsletter

Sign Up For Our weekly Newsletter CT's weekly newsletter highlighting the voices of women writers. We report on news and give our opinion on topics such as church, family, sexuality, discipleship, pop culture, and more!

Desire; Needs; Patience; Selfishness; Self-righteousness
Today's Christian Woman, January/February , 2011
Posted January 1, 2011

Read These Next

  • Amish SimplicityMember Access Only
    Best-selling author Beverly Lewis discusses why Amish fiction is so appealing—and what we learn from it.
  • Resolution SolutionMember Access Only
    6 great ways to make your goals stick
  • Stop Being So "Helpful" at WorkMember Access Only
    What to do when male colleagues automatically assume you’ll take the notes, make the coffee, and plan the office party


Join in the conversation on Facebook or Twitter

Follow Us

More Newsletters