Mothers, Daughters, and Sex

6 tips for "the talk." Hint: You'll need to have it more than once.
Mothers, Daughters, and Sex

"I remember the night like it was yesterday," my friend said. "I was tucking my daughter in, and I leaned over to hug her and noticed her body was starting to develop. My first thought was, NO. Stop growing!

Somewhere in our hearts we know they'll grow up and become women, but it catches us off-guard. When bodies start changing, and questions start coming, and emotions hit the spin-cycle, will you be ready to help your daughter embrace and express her sexuality the way God intended?

Most of us do not feel ready for these conversations. Here are a few suggestions for approaching the topic of sex with young girls:

1. Sexuality is as much a part of us as personality.

Our understanding of sex is complex, with roots in biology, psychology, family dynamics, and in the culture around us. Psychologists consider sex a primary drive in humans, along with hunger, thirst, and pain avoidance. Our drive toward sex is built-in and instinctual. Sex is also a primary drive in the creation narrative. In Genesis, God creates land, sky, animals and humans, and his first blessing for men and women is the ability to "be fruitful and multiply" (Genesis 1:28). Understanding the primary nature of ourselves as sexual beings, blessed by God for the enjoyment of sex within the safe bounds of marriage, helps us orient the way we speak with our daughters about love, relationships, and their sexuality.

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Nicole Unice

Nicole Unice is a TCW regular contributor. Nicole is on the ministry staff of Hope Church and author of Brave Enough and She's Got Issues. She writes for a variety of magazines and speaks nationwide at retreats and leadership events. Nicole and her husband Dave have three children. You can find her blogging about honest living at

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Challenges, Parenting; Child-rearing; Parenting; Premarital sex; Sex Education; Sexuality
Today's Christian Woman, October Week 2, 2013
Posted September 30, 2013

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